ANXIETY

Anxiety is one of the most common emotional struggles people face. From a psychodynamic perspective, anxiety isn’t just a problem to get rid of — it’s a signal. It tells us that something deeper inside us is being stirred up, often without us even realising it.

Anxiety as a Warning Light

Think of anxiety like a warning light on your dashboard. It doesn’t tell you exactly what’s wrong, but it tells you something under the surface needs attention. That “something” is often a mix of strong feelings we’ve learned — sometimes since childhood — to avoid or push away.

These might be feelings like:

• Anger that feels unsafe to express

• Grief that hasn’t been fully processed

• Love or need that makes us feel vulnerable

• Guilt or shame tied to past experiences

Because these feelings can be uncomfortable or even frightening, we develop automatic ways of avoiding them — these are called defenses.

How We Defend Against Emotions

Defenses are psychological habits we use — often without realising — to protect ourselves from feelings that feel too intense or risky.

For example, we might:

• Worry constantly to avoid feeling angry

• Numb out or distract ourselves to avoid sadness

• Overthink or analyse instead of feeling vulnerable

• Detach from emotions in order to feel more in control

These strategies may have helped us cope in the past, but over time they can actually create more anxiety, because they keep important emotional truths just out of reach.

What Therapy (Like ISTDP) Aims to Do

In a therapy approach like Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP), the therapist helps you:

1. Notice when and how your anxiety shows up
   Anxiety can appear in the body — as muscle tension, nausea, foggy thinking, or even panic. Each of these can tell us something about what’s happening emotionally under the surface.

2. Recognize the defenses you use to avoid emotion
   The therapist will help you gently see the patterns that may be keeping you stuck — like pushing people away, being self-critical, or burying your emotions.

3. Access and process the underlying feelings
   The real healing happens when you feel what’s underneath the anxiety — safely, with support. Often, people discover powerful emotions they’ve long avoided, and that facing these feelings actually reduces their anxiety over time.

Why the Relationship Matters

This kind of therapy focuses on your emotional experience in the room with your therapist, because the same patterns that play out in your life often show up in therapy too. By working through these feelings together, in real time, you can build new emotional muscles, feel safer with your emotions, and develop more freedom to live and relate fully.

In Short

• Anxiety is a signal, not the core problem.

• It often means important feelings are being blocked or avoided.

• We all use psychological defenses to cope — but these can become limiting.

• Therapy helps you uncover and process the real feelings behind the anxiety.

• When this happens, anxiety tends to ease, and you feel more like yourself.